Machete (2010) - 7/10
Machete is old school; he prefers big knives to guns and he doesn't text. He just stabs your fucking face off. I love Mexican women, Robert Rodriguez films, Jessica Alba's arse, and one-handed beheadings, so I enjoyed this. At one point, about half way through, I was having so much fun that I was tempted to go and grab a the biggest knife I could find from my kitchen and butcher my girlfriend to death. He just made mercilessly killing people look so much fun! It does go downhill a bit towards the end, though.