Street Fighter (2026) - 4/10
If you enjoy seeing concrete being smashed up by human flesh at warp speed then this may be for you. Someone decided to remake Street Fighter (Why, you ask? A good fucking question, tbh) but this time to use an even bigger budget and even more ridiculousness. A film entirely about kicking people in the face was never going to be Shakespeare - and, let's be honest, no-one's here for the plot - but did it really have to be so homoerotic? I came (excuse me?!) out of this thinking every single male character in it was a bleating queer. By half way through, I wasn't sure if the fellas were grappling with each preparing to fight or if it was just foreplay. I was half expecting it to end with Ryu whispering into Ken's ear, "Is that your Hadouken, or are you just pleased to see me?" Perhaps fighting is the sixth love language? My kids both loved it which tempered how bad it was for me. Had I watched it alone at home, I almost certainly would've turned it off.