Nosferatu (2024) - 6/10
On my They-Could-Have-Got-A-Fitter-Bird scale, I think they've pretty much smashed it in this. Lily-Rose Depp is the perfect combination of good-looking and Looks-Like-Skeletor that fits the bill here perfectly. When the hair and make-up departments aren't trying to make her look like a corpse, she is very shaggable, but here she is as gaunt and as gothic as you'd want. This is a classic vampire film but done modernly with proper cameras and a proper budget. In a world where everyone looks permanently traumatized, everything looks permanently damp, and questionable shadows have people constantly looking over their shoulder with haunted eyes, it reminded me a lot of my early sexual experiences. For what they were trying to achieve, they've absolutely done it. It'll certainly leave you craving sunlight on your skin and a nice warm brew.