This is about what would have happened had the Unabomber not been totally bonkers mad and managed to have shit loads of kids. The answer would have been fucked up kids, obviously, which is pretty much what this is about. I get the idea behind it and would salute anyone doing this with their kids in real life but the whole thing was a little unrealistic, with it getting worse towards the end; a common problem with many films.
Well this is bleak as fuck. Basically everything delicious will cause you disease. Whether it's meat, sugar, dairy or whatever, you're asking - actually no, begging - for heart disease, cancer, diabetes and even dementia. You are putting your body under extreme stress by eating all this shite, both immediately (in your guts) and long term (pretty much everywhere). It's amazing any of us make it out of childhood, to be honest. But we're here for a good time and not a long time, so fuck it; tuck in.
I put this on despite having never seen any of the first 10 Apollo films. Turns out this is some sort of docudrama about man going to the moon. I know, I know, it's a little absurd but the footage looks so real! The fact that the footage is such HD gives the game away as we all know there was no such thing as high definition in the 60s... Seriously though, the footage included in this is incredible and really puts you right in the moment. Arguably the greatest feat ever achieved by humans.
I can't stand Adam Sandler. He's about as funny as being told of the death of a loved one whilst someone tries to remove your leg at the knee with a tablespoon. But this, I enjoyed. The most impressive thing about it is the battery life on the cunt's phone. He's never off it, never charges it and it never dies. It's hard for me relate to someone living their life in such a constant state of mania but I assume there must be real life people who do. It's incredibly original - something which holds such tremendous weight nowadays - and Martin Scorcese's influence can't be missed.
9.2 on IMDB? Get absolutely fucked. These have definitely spent a large portion of their marketing budget on paying Indian bot farms to give this a 10 rating on IMDB. Fudged beyond belief.
And the award for most realastic war film ever goes to... Yeah, you guessed it. Even more so than Saving Private Ryan, I'd say. It'll probably win all the awards. Like, all of them. Academy Award for Best Picture included. And Best Cinematography. And fucking loads of others. Because it is an exceptional film. It grabbed me by the balls from the get go and didn't let up until the triumphant climax, which, let's be honest, whenever someone touches your balls, is the best possible outcome.
This is about the report that was compiled on the post-911 practices of the CIA in capturing and torturing anyone with a tinge of brown in them. As you can imagine, the treatment of those prisoners was horrendous and the report proved that not only were their methods ghastly but they were also largely ineffective. Turns out that if someone is waterboarding you, you'll tell them anything just to make them stop, even if it's a lie. At least once it was all out in the open, those responsible could suffer the full force of the law for their crimes, right?
I'm a great believer in the mantra that if you want something doing properly, you have to do it yourself. It's one of the many personality flaws that my dad passed on to me; that other people, ultimately, are useless. So thanks, Dad, I suppose. Jim Cummings - the writer, director and lead part of this film - clearly feels the same way. I'm a little surprised he didn't just don a wig and play all the female parts too. Despite that all sounding terribly bleak, it's very funny. This is my sort of jam. Bravo, Jim Cummings.
The moral to this story is to never get divorced. Actually, go one better and don't even get married in the first place. You know what women are like. Parts are laugh out loud funny and other parts are crushingly sad. Laura Dern steals the show and I hope she gets an Oscar nomination for Best Supporting Actress.
This is a documentary about the story of twin boys in which one of them has a massive car crash and forgets his entire life up to that point. Fortunately his brother reminds him about their good life, their amazing childhood and their wonderfully attentive parents. Sadly it's all a lie and if you want the sordid details, you'll have to watch it.