You're best watching this with a fucking Jumper over your head..utter shite.
This film is a feast of manlyness with all the right mangredients to fill you right up; guns, helicopter chases, explosions and ass-kicking. Women of the world, you better run yourselves a scented bath, and get yourselves some hot chocolate and the latest copy of Cosmo, because the men are watching The A-Team, and you simply don't have enough testosterone to deal with that sort of shit. Brilliantly cast and doing exactly what it says on the tin, it should keep you both entertained and amused, if nothing else.
Compared to ghosts, zombies and vampires, werewolves are like the ugly, abused cousin at the family party that the other kids don't want to play with because they fucking stink. They're just not as popular. Maybe back in the 80s when Thriller and Teenwolf were out they migh- No, wait, they were shit then, too. Personally I'd rather be a werewolf than any of the aforementioned overdone monsters, but what do I know. This film is alright, but when it finished I wasn't exactly hoping that I got attacked by one so I could spend eternity morphing into a double 'ard hairy werewolf motherfucker.
This film is bad. In fact, that's a massive understatement. Saying this film is bad is kind of like saying someone who caught the Ebola virus is a little under the weather. If you've ever had Ebola you'll know what I mean. Actually, you won't. Because you'll be dead. You probably spent a short time in absolute agony, clawing pieces of skin off, vomiting up your intestines and shitting blood, before ultimately dying. Which, to be fair, sounds like more fun than watching this film again.
This film is a self-indulgent, egotistic, load of shit. It's a bit like that time you asked your girlfriend to undress, didn't bother with any foreplay, and just promptly fucked her, without any attempt to please her, at all. You had your orgasm as soon as you felt like it, didn't you? And then you got up and went and spent the next hour on YouTube, whilst she cried herself to sleep, didn't you? You selfish bastard.
Thank for you for flying with UTTERWANK AIRWAYS can all Passengers please end there lives..this film is so shit its untrue..theres a plane crash and some counselor trys to help the survivors get back to normal...but theres a twist so shit that it makes you want to smash your house up..STAY AWAY.
Randy Savage was a hero to millions of kids across the world, beamed into their living rooms and idolised like the true fucking legend that he was. Then came the 1993 Royal Rumble. He entered as the last contestant and we were all relying on him to defeat that fat joke Yokozuna, and he had his chance, but instead he tried to pin him! In a fucking rumble?! What a doss cunt. Yokozuna LOLd in his face and dispatched him with ease. Ever since he's been hated. This film is about something similar.
Did about as much for beach holidays as the Exxon Valdez did for Alaskan wildlife. You can't even dip your toes into the sea without thinking about this film. So good that the theme song has become universally associated with danger.
Trying to understand women is liking trying to break the Enigma code: nigh on impossible. Unless you're Alan Turing, of course. Except he was homosexual. Which does make you wonder; if the only person in the history of the planet who could understand women decided to have relations with men, well, then that says a lot about how fucked up women are, if you ask me.