"If you stay in Larissa, you will find peace. You will find a wonderful woman, and you will have sons and daughters, who will have children. And they'll all love you and remember your name. But when your children are dead, and their children after them, your name will be forgotten... If you go to Troy, glory will be yours. They will write stories about your victories in thousands of years! And the world will remember your name. But if you go to Troy, you will never come back... for your glory walks hand-in-hand with your doom."

What is AIDS? Is it as widespread as we believe? Why does it mean one thing in Europe and one thing in Africa? Will it ever be cured? Does HIV even cause it? Do the drugs do more harm than good? Scientists disagrees on nearly everything to do with AIDS, except that it was put on earth by God to kill off all the gays; that we all agree on. But now we're all in danger because those filthy bastards couldn't keep it to themselves.

If you're a bloke you simply have to watch this film if you want to keep your membership of the Man Clan intact. If you've not seen it then you're giving your mates ample ammunition with which to launch a full scale assault on your sexuality. And you know what your mates are like; they don't know the meaning of overdoing a joke. Coming up with different and interesting ways of suggesting that you're into dick is among their top priorities.

If I had to pick between watching this film again, or watching one of these celebrity reality TV dancing shows, then, well, I'd have to fucking kill myself.

This is a film about an autistic savant which was released long before autism, and Savant syndrome, were widely understood, so, of course, it blew the socks off everyone and cleaned up at the Oscars. Savants really do exist, managing all sorts of crazy genius; some can draw whole landscapes from memory, others can remember pi to the 2,000th decimal, and some just have a semi-automatic calculator for a brain. Dustin Hoffman does an excellent job of portraying one, arguably his best ever role.

Gayer than two gays gaying the fuck out of each other in a wendy house... I also fucking hate that fat faced rodent Drew Barrymore.

More like Who Drew Jessica Rabbit? Because whoever did somehow managed to make a cartoon character sexy. I know, it's outrageous to say, but it's true. I'm pretty sure she was the first animation to ever give me a hard on. Plus, she gave men the world over a fucked up animation fetish. And, of course, Japan took that fetish and ran with it, because some of the animated shit they've come up with since is just fucking disgusting.

"You saying that Blain and Hawkins were killed by a fucking lizard? That's a bullshit psyche job. There's two to three men out there at the most. Fucking lizard."

"What sick ridiculous puppets we are, and what a gross little stage we dance on. What fun we have dancing and fucking. Not a care in the world. Not knowing that we are nothing. We are not what was intended."

As good if not better than the first...with the most satisfying ending.

For me, to watch a film over and over again it has to have lines you can quote to your mates religiously..this is deffo one of them.

"You saying that Blain and Hawkins were killed by a fucking lizard? That's a bullshit psyche job. There's two to three men out there at the most. Fucking lizard."